August 21, 2009

ABSOLUTE REALITY

Much can be said about the domination of reality shows in contemporary television programming. Much of it negative, and deservedly so. I'm one of the loudest voices bemoaning the decline of storytelling and good writing in favor of cheap voyeurism and deification of vulgar exhibitionists.

That said, I'm not immune to the inexplicable draw of a tawdry 'reality' show. The idea of missing even one moment of 'Rock of Love with Bret Michaels' was unthinkable. And, though admittedly having only discovered it during its third season, I'm so, so, so happy that Project Runway is back. By far, my favorite 'reality' show is A&E's Intervention; their latest series Hoarders is fascinating as well. And it got me thinking -- what is it about these shows that most people like, at which I cringe? And why are there some shows I still set my DVR to tape?

Once upon a time, MTV was launched. Back in the early 80's, it was entirely about music -- the VJ's were experts and fans of music. They were experienced, knowledgeable, and fluent in all things music, both contemporary and historically. If you were a fan of music, you were a fan of MTV. The special programming they offered were full concerts on Saturday nights, celebrities filling in as Guest VJs, live broadcasts from rock 'n' roll events, serious news programming. They ran crazy promotional contests to win a house (you could paint the mother pink with John Cougar or you could stand on the front lawn of Jon Bon Jovi's childhood home and take the keys from his parents) or work as a roadie for a day for Bruce Springsteen or rename Sammy Hagar's solo album and spend the day with Van Halen at the 5150 studios. There was nothing more rock 'n' roll than MTV.

Without it being the plan, MTV influenced youth and pop culture. It wasn't the intent, merely a side effect of the network's success. But the difference between man and animal is self-awareness... and the animal that was MTV woke up. MTV realized they could dictate trends and, instead of MTV's influence on pop-culture being a by-product of the network's focus on music, MTV adopted a mission statement to create and manufacture popular culture. Their focus was no longer music.

'Remote Control' debuted on MTV in 1988; an irreverent game show dedicated to absurd pop culture knowledge, it was a hit (true confession: I was a contestant in 1989 and I won everything.) MTV started down the slippery slope of original programming that was not music-based. And in 1992, The Real World premiered. The concept was unique: put seven strangers from assorted backgrounds in a NYC loft and have cameras document what happens while they try to live together. Part sociological experiment, part pop-culture Peeping-Tom, the series was a hit (it's the longest running show in MTV history to date, now contracted to film through at least its 26th season.) Some mark this as the beginning of reality TV as we know it today. Yet, even The Real World marks the decline of quality in its own lifespan.

These days, The Real World tosses seven people together whose main goal in life is to garner as much attention and camera time as they can. Stereotypically, the casting decisions are to cast stereotypes -- 19-year-olds direct from central casting who are looking to get drunk and get laid and have their exploits documented for an audience of the like-minded. Because, as The Real World proves, the point today is not to become successful and therefore famous. The goal is to become famous - or infamous - but the route to that fame is free range, requiring no talent or work or contribution to the human race at all.

Your fertility treatments leave you with 8 kids?
Your religion teaches you contraception is a sin so you have 18 kids?
Your parents throw you a Sweet Sixteen which costs more than most Americans' homes?
You had no idea you were pregnant until the ER doctor announced you were in labor?
You're an anorexic, annoying twit of a celebrity fashion stylist?
You're an OCD-riddled toxic, abusive real estate flipper?
You're a shallow, vulgar, spoiled cougar wife, ex-wife, girlfriend or mistress who hangs with others like you?
You're a horrendously obnoxious bride-to-be?
You're a past-his-prime rock/pop/hip-hop star or professional athlete?
Congratulations, you get a show documenting the drudgery (usually manufactured for the cameras) of your day-to-day existence.

And let's not forget the 'dating' shows and 'competition' shows.
I believe the rule is, if you're ON a dating show (either as the prize or one of the contestants) it's a clear sign to the universe that NO ONE should want to date you. EVER. Quite frankly, I'm totally OK with these types breeding in the shallow gene pools they call home; eventually they'll die out or only reproduce webfooted goat-babies. Plus, there are scores of barely-talented, moderately attractive, semi-literate TV types in Hollywood who need the hosting and judging gigs. So, yay for the economy.

Now, there are two types of competition shows. The first is the kind where competitors are judged on their talent, execution, presentation, and vision. I love Project Runway because each week contestants are judged, win, and are voted off (by qualified, and insightful judges who, while I may not always agree with their opinions, come to those opinions as a result of years of training and expertise)solely on their talent. It's about bringing the best of your abilities to the table. And though I've only seen a handful of episodes, this is what is so appealing about Top Chef as well: the fate of the contestants rests only on their abilities.

Contrast that with the trailblazing dog-eat-dog (or human-eat-ferral-swamprat) variety of game show, Survivor. Outwit. Outplay. Outlast. The entire point was to outsmart, manipulate, betray, and eliminate your competition through the formation of alliances. Sorry, I lived through Woodland Junior High once. Never again. Why, as an adult, would I tune in weekly to watch these adults not only recreate but celebrate all the worst possible social behaviors usually prevalent among adolescents?! It was Lord Of The Flies for grown-ups and people tuned in, religiously. I was once in a restaurant at a table with a dozen people, many of whom were well-known celebrities, enjoying a sushi dinner; one grabbed her assistant and left hastily mid-meal, fearing they might miss even a moment of Survivor! Honestly, the people who enjoy this type of programming are simply not people I want in my life.

Since Survivor, the majority of reality shows have embraced the backstabbing, Mean Girls, Machiavellian approach to winning, and I think that's a sorry statement and poor reflection on society. But I suppose it says everything about the current state of this country and its citizenry.

The glorification of celebrity for celebrity's sake and the deification of the useless (can you say Kardashian? Hilton? Gosselin?) has consumed the media. The surge of tabloid magazines which produced the influx of amateur paparazzi? Hell, all I have to do is go to Best Buy, purchase a digital camcorder and good digital camera, then lurk outside the Trump International hotel at Columbus Circle, yell moronic, baiting questions at the celebrities entering and exiting the establishment, then sell them to the devil, TMZ's Harvey Levin.
Boom. Rent is paid.
Perez Hilton is a festering anal fissure on the ass of celebrity culture. He finally got punched in the face and while I'd prefer it to have merely been a karmic punch to the groin, the whining and crying and bruising were an amusing, long-overdue, just dessert for that parasite. When you bring nothing positive to the world and add nothing to the lives of others, you don't deserve to be celebrated and rewarded handsomely for being a shitty human being.

But this hell-hath-no-fury-like-a-moron-with-a-gripe approach to everything is getting old, and now dangerous.

The way people are attacking each other over politics and health-care reform, for example... it's like one big game of Color War (and yes, I am aware of the potential double entendre that phrase elicits.) I'd like to think of people I know as intelligent human beings, perhaps with differing opinions on certain political issues. But seeing their intense, heightened, almost-gloating taunts in the wake of Obama's attempt to do something that, while benefiting many people, would be considered a 'win' for the Democrats brings to mind the foul-mouthed, douchey New York Yankees fans acting like morons at a Subway Series game against the Mets at CitiField. You can't have civil, thoughtful, passionate, intelligent discussions and debates on any topic if the loudest, most ill-informed (possibly gun-toting,) and indiscriminately angry individuals are encouraged to hijack Town Halls by insisting their First Amendment right to free speech trumps those same rights of the other citizens, of all political stripes, who have gathered together and know how to behave like civil, decent members of society and not hysterical, hyperbolic, Hitler-referencing mobs of morons.
Color War. Summer Camp's over. In the real world, no one wins.

It's the embrace of the lowest common denominator -- it's the Jerry Springerization of America. This is who television is programmed for, this is who politicians bank on swallowing what their fed, this is who dictates the level of discourse, popular culture, and interaction these days. And these people are then celebrated with tv shows of their own, attracting others who see themselves in the people on screen. Hey, I can be famous too! I can bring an assault rifle to a Presidential Town Hall and get on the news. Maybe they'll interview me. I can make a homemade porn tape and (whoops!) accidentally leak it on YouTube. I can kickstart my 'acting' career by getting out of a limo and flashing my panty-free lady parts for the paparazzi. I could be a lousy actress with a trout-pout and nice body whose personal life is a trainwreck ... and get my own show. No, it's NOT complicated. It's the continued dumbing down of America.

And it's depressing. I'm sorry, but rent Mike Judge's movie IDIOCRACY and tell me that man's not a prognosticator.

And I don't care if I come off as a snob or an elitist, east coast, educated, liberal. We should be doing better than this.

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